Our First Pig Roast

The Elm City Derby Damez End of the Year Party – November 2011

It wasn’t long before we got to play at having a real pig roast. I honestly don’t remember how it happened, but somehow, it was decided that the Derby Damez would have their end of the year party at my house in Westmoreland, and that we would do it as a pig roast. I actually think two ideas converged…John & I wanted to do a pig roast and the Damez wanted an end of the year party. Why not kill two birds with one stone. In any case, the pig roast was planned.

This was our first pig roast and although we worked on making fool proof plans, there were a few hitches and a number of “learning experiences.” In the end, it was all good and loads of fun, but I can tell you that until we actually ate, John & I had a few stressful and very trying moments that brought the old blood pressure up into the danger zone.

First things first. We didn’t have a roaster, so we rented one at the only place in southwest New Hampshire that has one.

I picked it up on Friday night, just before they closed, stopped at the butchers, picked up the pig and brought everything home for the big day.  I could barley sleep that night for the excitement. It was worse than Christmas.

It was late November and unseasonably chilly, down below 30 degrees that evening, so there was no problem leaving the pig in the truck... except that it got down to 15 degrees that night and somewhat solidified our little 70lb piggy.

We were up before light, and after unpacking and cleaning or little friend, we started trying to roast it, around 7 am.  First we had to get it onto the spit. It was quite a struggle to figure out how to load the dam thing onto the rotisserie, and the frigid morning air made it just a little bit painful on bare fingers. Finally, after about 20 minutes and a few choice words, we had Miss Piggy in the roaster and ready to go… then the first disaster struck.

Try as we might, the roaster would not light. We were stumped. I had been told that there was a trick to getting it started, and we followed the directions to the letter, but …nothing. Panic!

We called the rental place and after explaining our dilemma, they said it sounded like a bad regulator, and that they would be up shortly. The blood pressure was starting to inch up. We had to get this thing going! Everything we had read said that this was supposed to be an 8 hour roast, at least.

Finally, at 10:00 AM, the service guy came by, the regulator was swapped out, the roaster successfully lit, and the pig began spinning on the spit. Thank god! We adjusted the flame until we had the correct roasting temperature and then hopped in the truck to go pick up some supplies and Daisy. I know what you are guessing already… mistakes number two & three!

ONE: It takes a while for the fire to adjust to the “real” temperature that the roaster is going to run at, especially on frosty 20 degree mornings… and TWO: NEVER should the pig be left unattended. OK, so now we know

After picking up supplies, Daisy and coffee, we arrived back at the house. The roaster was smoking and the pig smelled Deeeelicious! The excitement was tangible. This was going to be sooo cool!

Well, our excitement was brought to an abrupt halt when we opened the roaster. There inside was one black, charred pig. Apparently the heat kept climbing after we left, and our injected butter/cider mix leaked out a bit, causing a flare up. This was awful. Ruined! Charcoal and nothing else.

I felt the world closing in and like I was going to die. From epic party to epic fail in two hours. John was entirely the voice of calm & reason. “No problem, we got this, its fine,” he kept telling me. We basted the pig, turned down the flame, and checked the meat temp. Whew! Truly, there was still juicy, succulent pork inside. It only looked bad on the outside.

Well, it didn’t take very long for the pig to be done after that. Another lesson we learned, although not critical on this day, is that these closed roaster units cook a pig in about 1/2 the time as an open fire does. Around 2:30, we shut the roaster down, let things cool for a bit and then took the pig out and over to the carving table.

 

This is where it felt like our luck turned. Black or not…the pork was more delicious than anything I had ever tasted. Everyone was starting to get hungry and people were filling up plates as we carved and pulled pork.

I’ll admit, as I carved, it was one portion for the serving plate & one for me. I can’t even begin to describe how good that pork was.

We had more than just pork, though. The girls had brought along a table full of wonderful side dishes and decadent deserts. I supplied a couple cases of a delicious, strong beer that I had brewed. We lit the fire pit, set up chairs, and pretty soon a huge feast commenced.

Once the initial gorging had finished, people began visiting in earnest, AND the band started to play.Yes, we even had a band for this gig. Yeehaw Jihad was there doing their debut performance.They set up on my patio and played all afternoon. What else could you ask for?

The fire pit was roaring, people were partying, dancing, eating and smiling, and Derby girls were off jumping on our trampoline. A band, a pig, homebrew, fire pit and derby girls…

Yes, truly an epic party!! So what if it was a little cold, or maybe if there were a few panicked moments. All in all it turned out great! We were hooked. There were happy faces everywhere and we knew that we had to do this again. The next pig roast would be even more epic!

As luck would have it, we got the opportunity just 9 months later at Geoff & Lisa’s ECDD wedding reception. It was a huge affair, a fantastic party and the place where we decided that maybe we should make a small business out of all this fun..

Where did it all start

Can you point to a specific event or happenstance and say “That’s it! That’s what started all of this!”? Each point in time has importance; but there was a choice, a conversation or a decision that preceded this spot in time and that lead you down your current path… something, that if changed, would not have brought you to where you are now. So honestly, I can’t tell you that “This time, this event… This is the thing that created J.R. Smokey’s”

I can tell you a story of a few key events that seem instrumental for me. Probably the biggest singular event was Tracy joining the Elm City Derby Damez. That was what lead up to us meeting and getting to know a group of the sweetest, most loving, sexy and kick ass group of ladies that you'd ever want to meet. Ladies that welcomed Tracy & I into their circle of friends with open hearts, and invited us to come along on their adventures. I’d point to some of those adventures as the seeds for our growth into a BBQ & Catering business.

During the derby season in the summer of 2011, we went to a party with some of the Damez, along with many of their significant others, at Daisy Duke Nukem’s Uncle Eric’s place… a place fondly called Sander’s State park. That was the first time I really got to know the girls outside of a roller derby ring or fundraising event. I also met a bunch of the husbands, boyfriends, family members and guys that were part of the whole crew, including John.

So there we were, cooking up a storm. There were all kinds of tasty foods roasting and smoking on the grills. John & I started babbling about food, BBQ, charcoal vs. propane, the best BBQ sauces, beer…all kinds of stuff. At one point, I mentioned that someday I really wanted try and to do a pig roast. We got talking about the whole idea and decided that sometime we should do one… you know, the kind of sometime that’s out there, but like as not, may or may not ever happen. Beer talk.

We didn’t go much further than that on the idea front. There were no big epiphanies that night, nothing major scheduled, no big plans for future endeavors formulated. The pig roast idea was just left floating out there in someday world.  One of those great beer ideas. After that chat, we all went on our way, enjoying the food, the party, the beer, the bonfire and the great company of friends.

Who knew that only three months later, we would actually be hosting our first Pig Roast… at an end of the season party for the Derby Damez… and that party would hurtle us down the path even further towards the birth of J.R. Smokey’s.